I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
