So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
