great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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