i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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