Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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