Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
