True but thats because hes a fetus.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
