Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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