I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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