so explain again why im purple
no
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
