mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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