It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
