they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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