Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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