Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
