Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
