fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize