You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
