did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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