Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
