So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
