Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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