did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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