everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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