I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
ok first of all what the fuck
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
