i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
