I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize