eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
