hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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