Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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