HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
