I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
