It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
