is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Pooping to opera.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
