Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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