Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
