Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
