Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
