I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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