the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
