...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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