dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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