we're blogging at a bar
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
