I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
