I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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