Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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