I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
