if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
