I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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