I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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