K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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