the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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