I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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