is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize