You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
