I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
