I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
